Biscuit

A young Marine gets on a plane in Dubai for the long flight home. He is in uniform. The Stewardess comes to him and says, "I just want to thank you for your service to America. Can I get you a drink? It will be free." The Marine says, "Ma'am, I haven't had a drink in 8 months." The stewardess says, "Well then you can have as many as you want on this flight, all free." The Marine thanks her and asks for a gin and tonic.

The stewardess returns a short time later with a drink. The Marine takes a sip and says, "Its good, thank you very much!"

The stewardess then notices a minister is sitting next to the Marine, and he is glaring at them disapprovingly. Not knowing what else to do, the stewardess asks the minister if he would also like to have a drink.

"Young Lady!" the minister retorts emphatically, "I would rather be raped by a brazen whore than to allow liquor to pass my lips!"

"Take this back!" the Marine says handing the drink to the stewardess, "I had no idea we had a choice!"

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They can take our payment processors, but they'll never take OUR FREEEEEEDOMMMMM!!!!

beaston

lol....good one

propiper

LOL - Good one!

My turn:



It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"

The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening Marine, nice night, isn't it?"

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".

The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"

The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."

The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."

The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!"

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.

-------- W.C. Fields

beaston

Here's a good one...

dcputernut

ROFL!!!! those were all good!! needed the laugh thanks!!!

hersheys

lol! nice jokes!